So Kaleo continues to chug along one day at a time. But because this is Camp Qwanoes everyday decided that it wants to be on camp time and end up feeling like 2 or 3 days. one example of this was this weekend with the Juniors retreat. wow talk about a lot of work! I had a great time having an amazing cabin and having some really deep talks with my cabin. The fact that I had Benjy Starr as my Co-Counselor was a blessing because of the fact that i've been so out of contact with T-town lately that it seems like people are starting to drift away. But thats ok, before I came to Kaleo I understood that this would happen and I prepared for it. But even though it was only a weekend the time I spent with my camp friends felt like a camp week.
I also had another crazy week at Warmland youth. This week first looked like I would not have to deal with the craziness because when the girls saw that my hair was gone they seemed to leave me alone...for a time. About half and hour of peace I was once again getting attacked by a larger group of about 8 girls. The pain of being known....but no the less youth was still tons of fun and we had a good message and we seem to be starting to get through to the kids.
Aside from Qwanoes and Warmland work, this week the Kaleo team went to S.A.L.T.s in Victoria to help them to get the ships ready for the winter. While there I managed to get to know the group I went with on the first day a lot closer and I really started to feel part of the group. This feeling of becoming accepted started an entire new chapter in Kaleo for me.
So I should probably start to explain the title of this post. Starting about 3 weeks ago I started to deal with some of my pride issues. In doing so I came to the understanding that the best way to deal with pride would be to become completely broken. So over the last few weeks God took me to this place where I felt comfortable and safe. Then God "punted me off the mountian" (as Jon would say it). Everyday I started to go out and listen to Linkin Park and just scream at God. Day after day I just went out and blamed God for all the hurt that he was putting in my life, forgetting that I asked for that pain. Then a couple days ago, God broke me to the point where I was almost ready to call it quits with my faith. I broke completely and felt completely lost and felt like I could turn no where. Then after a long talk with another Kaleo student and some very long prayer I felt like I could do no more and went to sleep. Then God answered every trust prayer that I have ever asked. He showed me that the reason why I am so confused about God's trust is because I'm too focused in on just one thing and not the big picture. Now because God has shown me this great truth, I can focus on applying that truth and dealt with other things in my life that need some focus. I think one of the new songs from Anberlin puts it clear on how I'm feeling: "I can finally breathe, suddenly alive, I can finally move, cause I realize".
Oh and the reason why this is so late is because I did not want to post while I was in the middle of that Brokenness.
I also had another crazy week at Warmland youth. This week first looked like I would not have to deal with the craziness because when the girls saw that my hair was gone they seemed to leave me alone...for a time. About half and hour of peace I was once again getting attacked by a larger group of about 8 girls. The pain of being known....but no the less youth was still tons of fun and we had a good message and we seem to be starting to get through to the kids.
Aside from Qwanoes and Warmland work, this week the Kaleo team went to S.A.L.T.s in Victoria to help them to get the ships ready for the winter. While there I managed to get to know the group I went with on the first day a lot closer and I really started to feel part of the group. This feeling of becoming accepted started an entire new chapter in Kaleo for me.
So I should probably start to explain the title of this post. Starting about 3 weeks ago I started to deal with some of my pride issues. In doing so I came to the understanding that the best way to deal with pride would be to become completely broken. So over the last few weeks God took me to this place where I felt comfortable and safe. Then God "punted me off the mountian" (as Jon would say it). Everyday I started to go out and listen to Linkin Park and just scream at God. Day after day I just went out and blamed God for all the hurt that he was putting in my life, forgetting that I asked for that pain. Then a couple days ago, God broke me to the point where I was almost ready to call it quits with my faith. I broke completely and felt completely lost and felt like I could turn no where. Then after a long talk with another Kaleo student and some very long prayer I felt like I could do no more and went to sleep. Then God answered every trust prayer that I have ever asked. He showed me that the reason why I am so confused about God's trust is because I'm too focused in on just one thing and not the big picture. Now because God has shown me this great truth, I can focus on applying that truth and dealt with other things in my life that need some focus. I think one of the new songs from Anberlin puts it clear on how I'm feeling: "I can finally breathe, suddenly alive, I can finally move, cause I realize".
Oh and the reason why this is so late is because I did not want to post while I was in the middle of that Brokenness.
1 comments:
Man, I know how you feel, I was there last year. I wish I could come up and just chill and talk!
You should come down for your reading break, even just for a few days. Yeah!
Remember, you can always call my cell if you want to talk.